Session 32: Snake Charmer

325,000 XP

 

    The Feinting GOATs set their sights on Bubastis, the Bronze-Age jewel of the Nithian Empire, following the distant and preoccupied directions of Enik, who predictably chose to stay behind in his cave. Seeking the Titan of Chaos, Apophis, the party visited the Temple of Ra, only to learn the serpent had long been slain by the Goddess Bast. Relocating to the grand Temple of Bast, they met High Priestess Neferbasti, an elegant Artathi (cat-person). She was utterly baffled by their request to "bring Apophis back just to slay him again." Sensing their determination, she offered to channel the Goddess directly for a highly exorbitant donation of the party's finest gems.

    Through the Priestess, Bast herself spoke. She found the party's quest highly amusing, but demanded a more... personal payment. Recognizing the sheer primal masculinity of the Maero, she decreed that a night with Korloth would suffice to earn her favor. After this divine "negotiation" was concluded, a thoroughly satisfied Bast explained her handiwork: she hadn't just killed Apophis; she had chopped him into nine distinct pieces. She had her followers scatter them across temples and construct elaborate, deadly trials to prevent his cultists from ever reassembling him. She offered to teleport the party to each shrine, from tongue to tail, merely to "inspect her followers' craftsmanship," refusing to offer any actual help.

    And so began the Gauntlet of the Serpent. The first trial housed the Tongue, guarded by an immortal Liar Priest. Elyndra stepped up to the Duel of Lies and brilliantly outwitted the undead guardian, using the sheer, absurd truth of the party's adventures to shatter his mind. The Nose proved to be a far more humiliating endeavor. The party was tasked with anointing statues with specific scents, but proved to be completely nose-blind. It took a full, miserable day of desperately scrubbing statues clean before they finally matched the right oils.

    The rest of the trials tested every facet of their adventuring prowess. They claimed the Fangs with a flawless, split-second weight swap that would have made any tomb raider proud. They secured the Venom by cleverly diluting a vat of deadly acid with water from the gargoyle spout. The Eyes were safely retrieved by meticulously obscuring the vision of a hundred cursed cat statues. The Scales forced them to solve the Melody of Ma'at, dragging ancient stone faces to harmonize the whistling winds and disable a dome of scythes. They secured the Heart by aligning bronze mirrors to blind an obsidian crocodile, and crossed a chasm of floating tiles to claim the Spine without plummeting onto poisoned spears.

    The final piece, the Tail, lay on a remote, uninhabited floating island. Encased in indestructible glass, it required the darkness of a total eclipse to open. In a stunning display of teamwork, Korloth physically shoved massive stone pillars along ancient walkways, while Lenti crafted a fungal mass to cast the final, perfect shadow, claiming the rattle of the beast.

    With all nine pieces gathered, the party prepared to let the Anubis Box do its vacuuming work. But the skies darkened with violent red sand. Seth, the Red Storm, descended upon them. As the eternal foe of Apophis, the godly god slayer was absolutely enraged that mortals were attempting to reassemble the World-Eater. A cataclysmic battle erupted. Seth scoured the island with his Breath of the Desert and desiccating lightning, pushing the party to the absolute limits of their epic abilities. Bruised, battered, and near death, the GOATs managed to overcome the God of Storms through sheer tenacity and overwhelming firepower.

    Exhausted, they finally opened the Anubis Box. The mystical vacuum began pulling the bloody, segmented chunks of Apophis into its extra-dimensional space. Bast watched the process with a casual shrug. "It's a box," she purred. And before anyone could stop her, the Goddess of Cats leapt out of the Priestess's body and dove straight into the Anubis Box, eager to see what was inside, adding herself to the growing pantheon of trapped deities.

    With the box snapped shut, the party found themselves completely stranded on the remote floating island. It took them several grueling days of survival and searching before they finally located an ancient, dormant Pylon. After a tense period of hacking the matrix to configure a return path, the bruised and victorious Feinting GOATs stepped through the portal, returning to Enik's cave with a box that was getting remarkably crowded.
Note: The following writings are from the character's perspective and are often private to the character. They are not considered "in-game" knowledge to the other characters, and any in-character reference to this information would be considered meta-gaming.

Letter to Master Kagemitsu at Tengai-no-mori Monastery by Caylen Redden

Dear Master,

 Although comparative religion was one of my favorite subjects to explore in the library, I now believe I have had quite enough of gods and legends. Further discussion with the other GOATs and Bast’s reaction to me have caused me to wonder if some form of mating occurred with Zeus without my knowledge or consent. If so, there may be future complications. But, I am getting ahead of myself a bit.

 Our quest for titans brought us next to Bubastis, an ancient Nithian city, where we sought the whereabouts of Apophis. Following our usual method of seeking out a person of authority or knowledge in a prominent architectural landmark, we found our way to a temple of Bast and spoke with a priestess there. For a price, she was willing to channel the goddess so we could negotiate with her directly. Bast was subsequently summoned, and she demanded further compensation for the information we needed. She assessed each of us in turn and, when she came to me, made a remark which seemed to suggest I had been, shall we say, “devalued” by my previous interaction with a deity. She finally settled on Korloth and asked for a night with him, to which he agreed with markedly more enthusiasm than I had for my transaction with Zeus.

 Presumably after a satisfactory night of debauchery, we set out to collect Apophis. “Collect” is an especially appropriate term here, because Bast had not merely slain Apophis, she had dismembered the corpse and scattered pieces throughout Mysterra.  There were nine parts, hidden and protected to prevent Apophis’ followers from resurrecting him. Although Bast agreed to take us to the pieces, she refused to assist with any challenges we may encounter, explaining that she wished to observe her followers’ ingenuity and the effectiveness of the protections they had devised. Bast had a particularly interesting method of travel – stepping into a spinning whirlwind and inviting us to join her. I expected some discomfort, but the magic worked like a typical teleportation spell, bringing us to our destination in an instant with only minimal magical sensation.

 The first location was an ancient tomb where we encountered an undead guardian who challenged us to a duel of lies. We immediately selected Elyn for the task, but, as it turned out, lying wasn’t actually necessary to win. In the the duel, the challengers would take turns making statements, with the other attempting to determine whether or not they spoke the truth. There was a penalty for being caught in a lie, doled out in physical damage, but no such penalty for a correctly identified truth. Elyn wisely played it safe, sharing with the guardian some of the Feinting GOATs’ exploits that sounded unbelievable, but were absolutely true. The guardian guessed incorrectly as often as not, while Elyn readily discerned his lies. The duel was quickly concluded, and we were able to claim the tongue of Apophis. I sacrificed my waterproof bag to transport our grisly prize, and as I’m not sure any amount of cleaning would suffice to restore it, I will have to acquire a new one.

 The next location we visited, again traveling by whirlwind, was a burial preparation chamber, where we found a set of five statues and an assortment of scented oils. The challenge was to annoint the statues with the proper oils, so we first needed to identify the represented deities and their preferred methods of veneration, then identify the type of oil in each container. This proved much more difficult than expected. My knowledge of the ancient Nithian pantheon is limited, but with Adrian’s help, we were able to identify each of the statues. One was Bast, which was fairly easy, and the other four were Ra, Isis, Thoth, and Osiris. From what we could recall of their domains and ritual practices, we had a fairly good idea of the type of scents that would be most pleasing to each. However, where we struggled was actually identifying the oils. I must admit, although I am proficient in identifying and tracking prey, I’m fairly lost when it comes to florals and aromatics. Perhaps it was sensory overload – too many strong scents at once – or perhaps the desert air had dried out nasal membranes, impeding our natural abilities, but we only matched one oil correctly on the first try. It took several hours of arduous scrubbing to cleanse the statues enough to be allowed a second attempt, but fortunately that time we were successful. We collected the nose of Apophis and moved on.

 Next came the fangs, which we found resting on one side of a giant scale. There was a stone block underneath to keep the scale from tipping, so both sides were even, and the other side was empty. The walls were covered with heiroglyphics which explained a trial in the Nithian afterlife, in which the heart of the deceased is weighed against a feather to determine their eternal reward or punishment. While carefully studying the heiroglypics, we discovered that a few symbols in particular stood out: an eye, a scarab, and a feather. They were larger than the other symbols, made of gold, and could be removed from the wall. Considering the information provided, we reasoned that the feather was the key. We deftly swapped the feather for the fangs, and the scale remained in place, perfectly in balance.

Next came the venom gland, which we found submerged in a vat of acid inside a deep, oppressive dungeon. Pressing a lever above the vat would cause water to pour in, diluting the acid, but as Korloth discovered, it would also cause acid to splash up, damaging whoever was holding the lever and ultimately forcing them to let go. Once the water stopped, the acid quickly reconstituted, so in order to render the liquid in the vat safe, the flow of water needed to be kept constant. With a bit of mechanical ingenuity, we were able to press and hold the lever from a distance, avoiding damage from the splashing acid until the liquid was sufficiently diluted and the gland could be safely retrieved. To avoid potential contact with any lingering acid or poison, we decided to store the organ in the waterproof bag along with the tongue. Noticing this, Bast warned us not to store too many pieces close together, as Apophis could re-form, and we would want to avoid that before getting him into the Anubis box.

 We moved on after that to Apophis’ eyes, two huge gemstones on a pedastal in the center of a temple, surrounded by dozens of vigilant cat statues. The eyes could not be moved as long as they were within any of the cats’ line of sight, so Lenti shrouded the space with a magical spore cloud.

 The next task, retrieving Apophis’ body scales, required knowledge of musical scales. We heard “the Melody of Ma’at” played, then had to replicate it by moving clever wind instruments in the form of stone faces into position. We were able to replay the notes and change positions repeatedly, but too many incorrect attempts unleashed a hail of whirling scythes. Fortunately, Bao Bao was able to keep everyone healed up, so we persisted and were able to complete the challenge without too much difficulty.

 After that, Bast brought us to a cavernous chamber, where we found the heart of Apophis clutched in the jaws of an enormous crocodile statue. We realized that this was a reference to a story in which a crocodile was defeated by being blinded, and there just so happened to be several giant mirrors in the chamber. We repositioned the mirrors to direct sunlight into the statue’s eyes and were able to snatch the heart from its jaws without incident.

 The eighth challenge, for the spine of Apophis, was particularly enjoyable. The spine was positioned at the opposite end of a platform decorated with a series of tiles. The distance could not be traversed by magical means, and stepping on an incorrect tile would send it tumbling into a chasm of deadly spikes. Investigating the tiles, we realized that they depicted scenes of combat between Apophis and Ra, and certain tiles stood out. Crossing safely required moving between tiles featuring scenes where Ra clearly had the upper hand, crossing no more than fifteen feet between each. That might be a long leap for some, but was a simple matter for me. Soon enough, I was carrying the spine, and we were on our way to the final challenge.

 For the last piece, Bast brought up to a floating island, where the tail of Apophis rested upon an open-air altar at the center of a ring of obelisks, encased within an impenetrable transparent dome. The dome could only be breached in total darkness, yet this was a land of perpetual sunlight. We couldn’t rely on an eclipse occurring anytime soon, so the only option was to block the sun. Korloth set to work collecting the obelisks and positioning them in to a barrier around the altar, and Lenti produced a large fungal mass, shoring up the structure and filling any gaps. We retrieved the tail from within the shadow, and our mission was complete! Or so we believed.

 Before we could safely deposit the parts of Apophis into the Anubis Box, the sky darkened as if for a storm, and we found ourselves challenged by another god, Seth. He had also battled Apophis in the past, and was enraged to find a party of mortals attempting to reassemble him. There was no negotiation, only overwhelming force. Seth fought with all the force of a raging sandstorm, battering and dessicating everything in its path. I saw Qhari-f’taal caught directly in its path and blasted into dust. Overcome with grief and rage, I nearly abandoned all strategy, focusing solely on remaining toe to toe with the deity and striking with all of my power. A near-fatal blow brought me to my senses, and I remembered to utilize the mobility for which I had trained so persistently. I avoided more devastating attacks, and Bao Bao provided healing as quickly as she could, keeping most of us on our feet. We were eventually victorious, though Zan-kalak was also lost in the battle.

 As it turns out, Elyn’s brush with oblivion and subsequent resurrection by Loarkon in the Underworld imbued her with some new abilities, and she was able to reconstitute the unber hulks’ bodies so that Bao Bao could restore them to life. Before doing so, however, she demanded a favor in exchange. Adrian took particular exception to this, finding it immoral and cruel, and I was somewhat offended as well. On one hand, as fellow members of an adventuring party we should assist one another as a rule, so there should be no need for trading favors, but on another hand, I am concerned Elyn may have seized this opportunity to extract aid for something nefarious. In theory I could refuse such a request, but for all I know Elyn’s new Underworld powers may render the bargain magically binding. I suppose I will simply have to wait and hope Elyn’s better nature prevails, because I certainly could not refuse. I must bring Qhari-f’taal and Zan-kalak alive. Although they are here by choice and I am grateful for their presence, I still feel immense guilt for leading them into such danger. I would consider it an unforgivable failure to lose them now, before they’ve had a chance to experience life on their own terms. Success will come when we part ways, and they are able to begin anew in peace.

 After defeating Seth, we had one further complication. Based on prior experiences with deities, I grew suspicious of Bast and called for the others to wait, hoping to delay opening the Anubis box until the goddess was no longer in our presence or we could devise a way to prevent her from entering it. Unfortunately, the process had already begun. The pieces of Apophis were sucked inside, followed quickly by Bast, who left behind a bewildered priestess and the rest of us without transportation. The priestess presumably found her way back to Bubastis, while we hiked for several days across the desert with our increasingly heavy box of deities to find another pylon. The good news is we now have only one titan left to find, and then hopefully we will return home triumphant.

 Until then,

 Cut-Cut